I think Toyota hit their demographic very well.
Post your demographic and the other vehicles you were cross-shopping to illustrate...
Young married couple, no kids.
1. I drive a convertible on sunny days. Wife's car has sunroof.
2. Rarely have backseat passengers. Maybe 5 times total last year.
3. We were actually looking for side-opening cargo door like our dearly departed LR Disco. Hated the lift-up hatch on the Pilot (last owned SUV)... with a lift-up hatch, it's all or none... there's no cracking the hatch to toss a bag/box in....
4. Drove through rain, didn't get dripped on by roof rack. I don't open windows when it's pouring.
5. Once again, only infrequent rear seat use.
6. Owner's manual has seat removal instructions. Yes, you need a screwdriver and I'm not sure how it impacts the cargo area. I figure if I need more space, I'll rent a van or trailer for $20.
7. I just drove >330 miles and the gauge still had a 1/4 tank (so prob 1/6th left). This vehicle has better mileage and range than our Pilot did. And I won't even talk about the mileage on our Discovery....
8. Tires aren't really to my liking, but if you're serious about off-roading you would have Mud Terrains on separate steelies... that will get chewed up if you run them long distance on the asphalt. I ordered TRD wheels for $116 apiece and will put Blizzaks on them for winter... will swap out the H/Ts for BFG ATs... in 17 inch for handling bias (hey, it's a 32 in tire... that'll still have plenty of sidewall for me).
9. Once again, nobody in rear seats here.
10. My other car has worse visibility in rear. Haven't had any issues adjusting. I like the other thread idea of larger rearview mirror. I also know others who have found convex side mirrors helpful.
From the original poster's gripes:
Get a Highlander if you want "family friendly" with better gas mileage.
If you want all of that with a flip down rear and still off-road capable get a Land Rover LR3.
They get worse gas mileage and don't come stock with off-road tires, though.
My question is... what other car would the original poster buy instead?
My recommendation is small engine Highlander and buy a beater Jeep with BFG M/Ts as a spare car....
Cheers!