My crappiest mod: The Tactical Camp Toilet Ultra Plus

**Psychlone** · 03-13-2009, 06:07 PM

Sorry to dump this on you but this has got to be my crappiest mod.

It seems the options available when ****ting in the forest (or other remote nature) are:

1) Dig a hole in the ground and squat - which is of course highly uncomfortable and requires you to make the uncomfortable decision of whether to risk ****ting straight down into your own pants that are crumpled around the ankles - or risk being seen butt naked in the woods and be the laughing stock of every nearby squirrel.

2) Buy a $200 camping toilet that will forever enslave you to buy the compatible plastic bags, dry-powder, blue poison, batteries or other parts - of course you must only use the expensive stuff from the same vendor or the toilet may explode in your face. Plus these toilets take up space, have way too many surfaces to clean, have baby-sized seats and height making them too small to be comfortable anyway.

Alas, enter the crappy mod.

Instructions: Get a grown-up sized toilet seat and a folding chair. Mount the seat, place it over the hole in the ground and you're ready to go in style. So simple I'm sure it must have been done hundreds of times before, but perhaps noone had the guts to come out and tell about it...

Packed up it takes up almost no space, although I would advise against mounting it on the side of the roof rack or on the front bumper:

Unfolded it has just the right dimensions for the job:

Here's a bottom view, bottom not shown.

Advanced versions include placing a large paper bag inside the chair legs to protect against whatever. It's biodegradable and can all be shoved down into the hole when you leave.

Check Tread Lightly if you're not familiar with the proper 'crappyquette'.

mattmainster · 03-13-2009, 06:14 PM

Very nice! My mom saw this over my shoulder and commented that she thinks you need a bag.

Rocketdog · 03-13-2009, 06:37 PM

Is that real wood?

**Psychlone** · 03-13-2009, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Rocketdog previously said:

Is that real wood?

yes, a slice of the rare, hollow pygme baobab tree from Congo that has the distinguishing characteristics of an exact match with certain human anatomical details that shall not be divulged here since mothers are apparently reading the forum. You can also use a cheap wood-like substance covered with original wood style plastic, as long as you can put screws in it.

**FJ FunJunkie** · 03-13-2009, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Psychlone previously said:

yes, a slice of the rare, hollow pygme baobab tree from Congo that has the distinguishing characteristics of an exact match with certain human anatomical details that shall not be divulged here since mothers are apparently reading the forum. You can also use a cheap wood-like substance covered with original wood style plastic, as long as you can put screws in it.

**neworleansparrothead** · 03-13-2009, 07:49 PM

This is the best "crappy" thread tonight!!! Awesome!!!

**Swingshiftworker** · 03-13-2009, 08:19 PM

FWIW, crapping in a hole or just taking a dump in the open is prohibited in many areas and, where it's not prohibited, it's considered environmentally irresponsible.

I gave a lot of thought to deciding what to buy for this purpose and ended up going with a Luggable Loo (a 5 gallon bucket w/a lid), Wag Bags, Odor Free Barrier Bags and a Pop-up Beach Cabana for quick set ups and a Privacy Tent for longer stays.

The Luggable Loo costs only $18 and holds all of your crapper accessories (toilet paper, wisk, new and "used" wag bags, new and "used" odor free barrier bags, a hammer and pegs for the cabana or privacy tent. I have a folding toilet seat too, but you can't carry anything in it. If you want the "best" personal toilet, the PETT toilet would be the thing to get, but it's expensive ($117 retail or $89 at REI) and doesn't carry as much stuff as the the Luggable Loo. If you have money to burn, you can get the complete PETT toilet system (toilet, backpack & privacy tent) for about $400.

If you have to provide a toilet for a large group, there's also the Eco-safe Toilet System. It comes w/a 5.5 gallon tank (which holds all your crap until you dump it at a waste disposal site) and you can use something like BioMagic to break down and deodorize the waste. You can also store the toilet and tank in two 20mm ammo cans -- fits perfectly. I should know because I bought this system and the ammo cans before I realized it was for groups -- not individual use. Haven't used it and may try it sell it here or on eBay.

Anyway, I believe that the Wag Bags ($2.95 each at REI) are now the most widely used "waste disposal bags" -- they break down and deodorize the waste individual bags that can be used a couple of times. Even though the wag bags help control the odor, the bags are not odor free and can leak.

After I've used and sealed a Wag Bag, I put it in a large 12x20" Odor Free Barrier bag ($11.50 for 3), which is entirely odor free and leakproof. They look like ordinary ziplock bags, but they are more than that. They are actually designed to hold food, so that bears can't smell what's in them. So, the material used is entirely non-porous and the test to see if the bag is working is to fill it with air and submerge it under water. I had a Wag Bag leak on me inside an Odor Free bag and it saved me from having a HUGE messy and smelly problem on my hands. You can put at least 3 used Wag Bags in one large odor free bag. It's well worth the extra expense.

Lastly, if you like your privacy while taking a dump, like I do, you'll also need some kind of privacy tent. I initially purchased a cheap 6 foot privacy tent ($45) for to use, but it's a hassle to set-up and I now only use it when I'm going to be in camp for several days or more and bought a Pop-up Cabana ($79) for quick set-ups instead. I've used the Pop-up Cabana on a 3 day Rubicon trail tour and a 7 day tour of Death Valley, where we had to make a new camp each night and it worked great on both trips. It pops open instantly and can be weighted down w/rocks, which is usually enough to secure it, but if its windy, you'll need to peg it down too, but that's easily accomplished.

So, these are my suggestions for a "tactical camp toilet" set-up and I hope y'all will find this information useful. Happy crapping!

Sanderhawk · 03-13-2009, 08:46 PM

Not only is this a real cool invention I have to say reading your post made me laugh til I cried. Damn funny.

lilx10 · 03-14-2009, 11:44 AM

The thought of digging a hole before taking a dump is interesting. Interesting because when "nature calls" you usually dont have the luxury to look for a shovel and search a "wooded" area and start digging. This is atleast a 10-20min job and taking a dump will require a faster time than a Ferrari's 0-60mph.

Or this is simply genius that once youve set camp, you try to set-up your own rest room as well. You can then re-use the hole and fill it up with urine and feces to the brim.

Although this is illegal in most places, do people really put their dumps "on hold" because of ethical reason. Just a thought.

Quote:

Corey previously said:

Bored today after work, I decided to setup the crapper, er, the Pett toilet system.

Takes about a minute or so to put up the tent, as it is all self contained.
No poles to thread, just unfold and insert some caps built into to join the poles.

Zippered door for privacy, and windows too.

I would also freak out if I came to visit you and see this set-up on your living room!

**Corey** · 03-14-2009, 12:06 PM

I am using one of these as seen in my review thread.
I do like it, but not the tent.
I have a Cabelas one from late summer I ordered, but have not set it up yet.

Yes, as mentioned, many places will not let you dump your dump into the ground.
They require you to pack it out with you.
The nice thing about the WAAG bags is they zip up so nothing is going to spill out of them.
Just throw them in the trash when done.

That seat system you have I bet you could rig up a WAAG bag system to work with it too.

I use to have one of those two piece portapotties with an electric pump (two D cells or four, I forget) to flush the bowl.
It was made by Sears, and pretty much the same as the Thetfords.
I used that in my tent trailer I use to have, and it was very nice.

However to try and carry that in the FJ would take up to much space, and they weigh a ton when the upper fresh water compartment for flushing if full, and they weigh even more when the bottom portion if full of good old numbers 1 & 2.

And cleaning them?
I use to take the lower portion down to the sanidump where the RVs would go at state parks, or I would dump it in an outhouse or sink made for that sort of thing at a campground.
There is always the "splash factor" to deal with, not fun.

The PETT toilet I got yesteryear does away with all that.
No mess whatsoever.
Here is a good video at 10 MB.
http://www.thepett.com/images/page/p...orkioskweb.mpg