Father's day is just around the corner, and like
mothers day, we don't feel much like celibrating
anything... Some people understand, but some
don't... We look back on are sons passing and
know that we could have done things different,
and that may have changed the path of which
things followed... But would it have changed
anything ?... That is the questions that haunts
both my wife and I at all times... We will never
really know, till maybe our time comes and we
might just get to see him again...
If Ben had died in action, we would at least
know why and how, but he died in a different
way... He joined the service when he was a boy,
and came home a "grown ass man" (in his own
words)... He left the service after five years
to attend college in hopes of returning to the
service as an officer... He worked full time as
a security guard for Brinks, and also attended
college full time... He had no time for himself
other than Sat. nights...
This one particular night, he had too much to
drink, and a friend walked him own a got him to
bed, then went on there way... Ben aspirated in
his sleep and never woke...
We will never get over this, or ever forget, I cry
a tear at least once a every day, but try to
continue on to the best of my ability, but
sometimes, it is so damn' hard........
I just wanted to bump this for those who have
been around for a while, and for the newer folks
too...
We cry with you too, man. It's heart-wrenching to read your words. I don't pretend to know what you're going through. But that you're taking it one day at a time is good to hear. Hold Mrs. Bandi today for an extra long time. Take care....
__________________
"That seems to be when you're in your element and at your happiest. ...just an observation, but put a winch line in your hand in a boreal forest, a muddy woodland, or an arid desert and the word harmony suddenly makes sense "
Dragon
Last edited by MuddyGrrl : 06-14-2007 at 01:38 PM.
As hard as it is to lose a father, I cannot fathom losing one of my children.
You have shown both grace and strength the last several months and I have deep admiration for someone with those attributes.
As hard as it is, please do not second guess your decisions and actions on how Ben was raised. He turned out to be a fine young man, serving his country, expanding his horizon's through education, and a dream to return to the military as an officer.
So many of us push the envelope as vibrant young men. It's just our nature. Know that he lived life as full as he wanted, and that he had wonderful parents who were there for him.
This Father's Day will not be easy. But we will get through it. Our loved ones wouldn't have it any other way.
God Bless you and your family Bandi, I can’t imagine loosing any of my children. We are supposed to out live them, when they are taken so young it would be hard to make sense of it. The only thing I can say is God wanted another flower for his garden, and he chose to pick your son. You and your family are in my prayers.
__________________
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"Good people sleep peacefully at night safe in the knowledge that rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf" (George Orwell)
Wow Bandi...There isn't a word I can say that hasn't been said allready,this is the first time I've read this thread and I read the entire thing and have shed a few tears reading it.As a father of two boys,I can't imagine how hard it must be to loose your baby boy.Keep your head up buddy and know that you will be reunited with him one day.Life changes and can seem unfair at times but as already mentioned in a previous post,life is allways darkest before dawn.Don't give up hope man,I know nothing can bring your boy back,but it's the wonderful memories that are gonna serve as a bridge untill you see him again.It's good to hear that you have wonderful friends here on the board that can help get you thru tuff times and it's also good to know your son had so many friends who's lives he touched,he sounds like he was a wonderful person.Keep on keeping on and though I've never actually talked to you in person,I have talked to you when you've called my work(All-Pro).If you ever need to talk to someone,don't hesitate to call...May Your Son Rest In Peace.
I Feel for you and your family, Bandi...A poam I found; Maybe you'll find comforting.
Take care, Paul
There is a special Angel in Heaven
that is a part of me.
It is not where I wanted him
but where God wanted him to be.
He was here but just a moment
like a night time shooting star.
And though he is in Heaven
he isn't very far.
He touched the heart of many
like only an Angel can do.
I would've held him every minute
if the end I only knew.
So I send this special message
to the Heaven up above.
Please take care of my Angel
and send him all my love.
wow Bandi... I am truly sorry about the passing of your beloved son... he was one lucky guy to have you as a father...
i don't have any kids- just the furry ones- but i can imagine the pain and hurt you go through each day. i wish i could do something to ease your pain and help with your healing process...
ben's story is heartwrenching. we all know death isn't an easy thing to deal with, but trust me, it always seems worse when we lose someone suddenly. my great-grandmother went through years of ill health, and we knew her day was coming.... it was expected... but a very dear, close friend of mine, Barry, died suddenly-tragically... only 31 yrs old... unexpectedly.... after only seeing him the weekend before his passing, i never imagined he'd be taken from me that soon...
you'll always wonder 'what if... could i have done something differently... could i have done this or that or whatever...why wasn't i with him/her'.... its human nature, but part of the healing process involves letting go of any blame or guilt that you may harbor, for whatever reason...
you are in our thoughts & prayers... time will ease the pain...
"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. . . .He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer; he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. . . .When all other friends desert, he remains." --- George G Vest
I just wanted to let you know that those of us who have been around here for a while are still thinking about you and we still pray for you every day.
I have recently come to understand more of the feelings you are going through because my wifes mother (age 51) passed away almost exactly a month ago. She was healthy, but she contracted a rare blood disease (TTP)that killed her in less than a week. We didn't even know she was sick until the Friday when she went to the doctor for some strange bruises. She passed away on the following tuesday due to massive organ failure. The bad part was that the doctors didn't think it was anything serious. In fact at 10:30 on tuesday morning when they finally diagnosed her with TTP they said that they were going to perform a plasma transfusion and that she should be home by the weekend. They never even got her hooked up to the transfusion machine before she passed. None of her family (other than her husband and my wife) were there. I was the one who had to tell most of the family that she had passed away becuase my wife and her step father were completely inconsolable. It was the worst experience of my life. There is no word to express the pain and emptiness that you feel when someone close to you is taken so suddenly. Every day I think wow, Nancy would have thought that was so funny (as I watch my son walk around the house with my belt and hat on). We will miss her dearly as I know you miss your son dearly.
If you ever need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to PM me or email me.
Life is precious and way too short. We all need reminded of that evey once in a while.
You are in our prayers.
GPWDFJ
Gregg
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4X4 MT6, (Black Diamond), Option Pkg 2, Side Curtain Air Bags, Roof Rack, & Tow Hitch. Bandi-mount (original collectors edition), 3' firestick/quick release, Radio Shack CB, 36,000 miles. BFG A/T KO 285/70/17's on OEM Steelies. No lift, no chop, unknown rubbing.
2004 Nissan Titan SE Crew Cab w/ leveling kit BFG
AT KO 285/70/17 (Black)
1970 Chevelle clone SS w/ 350 (Black)
Hey man, thanks for sharing with us, whenever i drive by you or your wife i see the sticker, i was curious but didnt want to pry. i'm of course very sorry for your loss and i hope that you, and the rest of your family are still coping with it well. it is too sad in this world that all of us must at some point have to suffer the loss of a loved one.
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