Scared ****less for the first time in my life.

[Vegas_Nick [OP]]

I'm 44, I've been through some stuff in my life. Even being a cop and being shot at never scared me like I am right now.

About a month ago I noticed a large mass had developed in my neck, right at the crook of my neck and my shoulder. So, off to my normal doctor who sent me to a dermatologist and skin cancer specialist. I had that visit yesterday and he's sending me to a throat specialist and oncologist. Not the words I wanted to hear.

Chances are still that it's just a cyst because it moves freely and is round like a golf ball, but just the mention of the "C-Word" yesterday about made me throw up. My brother died from throat cancer just a few years ago. But...he chewed and dipped for half his life. I don't smoke, I don't drink and despite being 70 pounds over weight, I walk at least 7 miles every other day. I hike often and try to eat right.

I am not religious, but what I'd call spiritual. I was dead long enough during the aftermath of a motorcycle accident 7 years ago to not really believe there is some great white horse coming for me. All I remember was being dark and cold and really happy to see my wife smiling at me when the brought me back. I live by the rule of "harm none", and I believe in helping my neighbor.

Now, for the first time in my life, I'm honestly scared, but I don't know if its scared of dying or just scared of having some disease that could rob some happy years away from me.

Any way, just wanted to share and maybe see if anyone else here has been down or is going down a similar path.

Nick

[Old Cruiser]

Im thinking about ya buddy. Hang in there and dont think about the negatives- focus on the positives. It may be just a cyst in which case you would have worried and wasted great time.

[2010armygreen]

Hey Nick, best of luck on the outcome. Hopefully it is just a cyst.

[Old Cruiser]

Had a tumor removed in my stomach years ago (size of a lemon)- caused a hernia which is what prompted the surgery. All good now. Stay positive!!

[BIGGUY]

Good luck with it and think positive.

[kinakoba]

I can't say I know what your going though but my thoughts are with you and try to stay strong, its a fight that can be won.
By any chance are you Vegas Metro?

[snout]

Vegas_Nick previously said:

I'm 44, I've been through some stuff in my life. Even being a cop and being shot at never scared me like I am right now.

About a month ago I noticed a large mass had developed in my neck, right at the crook of my neck and my shoulder. So, off to my normal doctor who sent me to a dermatologist and skin cancer specialist. I had that visit yesterday and he's sending me to a throat specialist and oncologist. Not the words I wanted to hear.

Chances are still that it's just a cyst because it moves freely and is round like a golf ball, but just the mention of the "C-Word" yesterday about made me throw up. My brother died from throat cancer just a few years ago. But...he chewed and dipped for half his life. I don't smoke, I don't drink and despite being 70 pounds over weight, I walk at least 7 miles every other day. I hike often and try to eat right.

I am not religious, but what I'd call spiritual. I was dead long enough during the aftermath of a motorcycle accident 7 years ago to not really believe there is some great white horse coming for me. All I remember was being dark and cold and really happy to see my wife smiling at me when the brought me back. I live by the rule of "harm none", and I believe in helping my neighbor.

Now, for the first time in my life, I'm honestly scared, but I don't know if its scared of dying or just scared of having some disease that could rob some happy years away from me.

Any way, just wanted to share and maybe see if anyone else here has been down or is going down a similar path.

Nick

Nick,
I had a tumor removed from my neck and chin. When removed, it had spread into my lymph nodes, which were subsequently removed, too. I've squeezed out many enjoyable years since. It's terrifying to think what will happen and when/if it will come back. You must remain positive. If you let go of that optimism, it will beat you. Don't forget that every day should be the best day ever. I wish you the best of luck and know you will get through this.

[Ivan70]

Had a similar issue Nick, was scared, indeed. Turned out it was thyroid cyst... Hang in there man.

[mikey]

Stay positive! Knee mail on the way.

[Vegas_Nick [OP]]

kinakoba previously said:

I can't say I know what your going though but my thoughts are with you and try to stay strong, its a fight that can be won.
By any chance are you Vegas Metro?

No, I worked for Anderson County Sheriff's Office in South Carolina as a helo pilot until 1999.