Re: Just to lighten the mood in a here a little bit...
things not to do: (true stories too!)
when your kitten has the runs, after you clean its butt never spray(the butt) with Lysol!! it spends several minutes dragging its behind with its 2 front feet on your new carpet all the while screeching ! can you say carpet/chemical burn on the butt! (my mother in law did this)
surprise your mom by setting tiles on the wall without your glasses on! she now has to hide them with big furniture because its crooked! they go up hill!(no names mentioned in this one! but it wasn't me)
never incubate tortoise eggs in the oven, when you forget they are in there and you preheat for the Sunday roast, it gets very explosive! and its a dirty mess, but a good excuse to get a new appliance. (my mom did this)!
Never use a pile of dry grass as the stand for a bottle rocket!! (no names here either, oops) my dad put the fire out!!
Re: Just to lighten the mood in a here a little bit...
Here's my contribution:
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
!
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
__________________ '08 Black Diamond 4x4 AT, ATX Thugs, BFG T/A KO's, FJCruiserForums.com sticker, All the bells and whistles, just installed my flux capacitor!
Rest in peace little buddies
'08 Black Diamond 4x4 AT, ATX Thugs, BFG T/A KO's, FJCruiserForums.com sticker, All the bells and whistles, just installed my flux capacitor!
Linear Mode
