SilvFx -
I'm generally in agreement with most of your post.
In inexperienced hands, a broken or out-of-calibration torque wrench is more dangerous than a hand ratchet because there is no pre-existing 'feel' for when the wrench should click.
The OE Toyota fiber-faced drain plug gaskets are good for many uses, I generally replace them after 3 oil changes, or if there is any visible deterioration of the fiber facings. Never had any hint of seepage ...
I'm pretty sure Toyota's drain plug torque specs are field service specs, and are already de-rated to compensate for well-lubricated threads.
The real bottom line is that the objective of 'torquing' a fastener is to stretch it very slightly so that it functions like an extension spring, pulling the underside of the bolt head down against the clamping surface, and pulling the flanks of the male threads up against the flanks of the female threads. It's this friction between the head of the fastener and in the threads that prevents the fastener from loosening.
There is a very, very subtle 'feel' after a fastener has been tightened to the point where all the clearances have been taken out, where additional rotation is actually stretching the bolt shank and the the threads. An 8" long head bolt has a lot more 'stretch' than a 1/2" long drain plug, so the 'feel' is very different.
A completely different situation is developing a feel for the maximum amount of torque you can apply to a 'stuck' bolt before it breaks. You can again use a torque wrench, and limit the removal torque to no more than ~120% of the install torque value. If it doesn't budge, STOP and take some other action like soaking with penetrating oil, applying heat, impact, etc.
If you have developed that 'feel' for the maximum torque that a bolt of a given size can withstand, then you just apply that torque, and either the bolt comes out intact, or you take other measures. But it's never 'just apply more brute force'.
How many times have we read where someone was trying to remove a skid plate, and "broke off three of the four damn bolts" ?