Apex...sounds like we had the same experience. Yes, I am a SET victim (really fond of their destination charges).
I love the FJ, and am excited about owning it. However, never having a Toyota before and then dealing with S.E. Toyota has been a negative experience. The dealer was fine, it was the rules and fees they are subjected to by SET.
When my dealer found my FJ, it did not have the hitch on it. I told them I wanted them just to give me a We Owe statement that I could buy the hitch whenever I wanted for the invoice price.
I had some $$ float my way, so about 2 weeks after I got my FJ, I asked my dealer to order the hitch. So a few days later, I get a call that it was there. My wife was driving that way, so I asked her to stop in and pick it up. She calls me back and says that 2 people had to put the thing her car and that it barely fit!
When she got home, I could not believe what a monster this thing was. The wiring harness was just as bad. I just about threw my back out trying to get the thing out of her car. When I realized, it was an after market (Reece) hitch, I was major pi$$ed!
So, the next day it went back and I had this talk with the parts manager about in the future, if I arrive at his TOYOTA parts counter, I expect to be sold a Toyota part or at least be asked if something else is accceptable.
They gave me this story about how this is the recommended part by SE Toyota. I am sure it is and I am sure it is just so that SET can have their way with you one more time.
I believe his story, when SET installed my PIAA fog lights, they didn't use a Toyota FJ rocker switch in the switch cluster. They used the cheap rocker switch that came with the lights and they mounted the thing under the drivers air vent on the flat part that I would have preferred not to have drilled.
I told them the Reece hitch was theirs now and they could order me the factory part like I had stated when I signed the deal on my FJ. They ordered me the factory hitch, which came in a box honestly about 1/5th the size of the Reece hitch. Rather than having a monstrosity of a wiring harness that the Reece kit had, the factory harness install was very simple and just integrated into the FJ really well.
If you get put in this position, my advice is to make sure you get the factory hitch. Others here have talked about how the Reece hitch will degrade your departure angle....it is so damn heavy and huge, I would think it has to affect MPG as well.
No offense to anyone with the Reece hitch. In my experience, I didn't like it nearly as much as the factory part and I want others to know about this, so they can make an informed decision and hold their dealer to the fire about getting the best parts.